Before I start spitting my rhymes and doin' my time, here are the results from this week:
Weight: 244.2 lb
BMI: 35
BMR: 2281 kcal
Fat %: 35.8%
Fat Mass: 87.4 lb
FFM: 156.8 lb
TBW: 114.8 lb
This Week
This Week
Weight: 247.8 lb (+3.6 lb, total of -13.6)
BMI: 35.6 (+.6, total of -1.9)
BMR: 2304 kcal (+23, total of -52)
Fat %: 35.1% (-.7%, net loss of 6.9%)
Fat Mass: 87 lb (-4 lb, net loss of 23 lbs of baby elephant)
FFM: 160.8 lb ( +4 lb, net gain of 9 lb)
TBW: 117.8 lb (+3 lb, net gain of 8.7 lb)
My snap reaction is that I'm probably lucky to have only gained 3.6 pounds this week (more on that in a minute) and that I should probably start losing fat at a pace similar to the one I'm gaining muscle and water weight or else I'm going to look like this guy:
Note: Not actually me. My breasts are much more voluptuous.
Here's a peek at last week's goals:
Goal 1 - Don't Eat Until I Need to Throw Up or Lay Down - F-
True story, I woke up in the middle of the night on Thursday because I wasn't sure if I needed to throw up or poop the bed because I was fairly confident I was going to explode. That sensation alone accounts for the fail.
Goal 2 - Work Out at Least Twice in Blunt - B
Again, I wasn't expecting a full exercise program, but Molly and I went for a walk in Pierre on Wednesday and I played basketball with pretty much the entire family on Thursday. Oh, also I listened to Jillian Michaels scream at Shelbi and Molly for 30 minutes while I shopped online. That counts for something.
Goal 3 - WATER, DUMMY! - ???
I don't know how to grade this one because my numbers on the scale today indicate that I did a great job last week of drinking liquids, but the fact that I literally didn't pee yesterday except for when my ritual morning draining and that my toes spread out in five different directions during a post-basketball cramp this morning leads me to believe that my number might be slightly off.
Next Weeks Goals
Goal 1 - Undo Last Week
So, clearly I'm not going to get to my 242 goal by today since I was at 247 this morning. I'm giving myself one week to rectify that. It won't be easy because this week is loaded with birthday traps, but I would really like to be in spitting distance of 230 by Christmas. That's going to take some hard work, but if I want to take entire weeks off and eat like a fat kid, then I need to have a couple of weeks on and eat like a smart kid to complete the only pair of adjectives anyone ever used to describe my childhood.
Goal 2 - Add a Weekend Workout
On top of throwing my eating habits to the wind last week, I also forgot my knee brace and shoes at home yesterday, so I'm already a full day of exercise behind the curve. There's only one way to fix that, even if I'm already starting to have anxiety attacks about it.
Goal 3 - H20, Agua, Eau, Wasser, Water!!!
No matter what language I say it in, I need to put it into my body in larger quantities. It helps make me feel fuller, it takes away the aches and pains in my muscles, and it helps make sure that I don't pee straight coffee. I'm not taking this off the goal list until I get it right.
Real quick (yeah, right), here are the fourteen things that I couldn't say no to this weekend, in the snowballing order in which they were ingested:
1. Taco Bell
I needed to grab a quick lunch on my way home from work before we left for Blunt, and TB was the only convenient option. I did manage to only order one extra value meal with no add-ons, which is a HUGE improvement for me. And so the rationalizing begins...
2. Gingerbread Shake from Burger King
Look, this blog is all about being healthy and living to be 100, but you ain't livin' if you ain't eatin' one of these shakes. The radio DJ's that I listen to in the morning have been raving about this stupid thing for weeks and we needed a snack about halfway through the drive, so I gave in. They were right, it was awesome. I have little to no regrets about this decision because of the high quality of the calories. Also, I only got a small, so clearly I'm making good decisions. The snowball picks up traction.
3. Papa Murphy's Pizza
My mom and dad were running errands in Pierre and my mom wasn't feeling the best, so I didn't want to burden them with having to cook when they got home. I told them to pick up Papa Murphy's, as long as they got the thin crust. I proceed to eat two pieces of the stuffed Chicago style and about half of Hawaiian thin crust. It is still Tuesday.
4. Burger, tots, and beer
I wanted to show Molly that Pierre had classy food options, so I took her to the country club pub where I ate a 1/2 hamburger with a gallon of South Dakota brewed beer.
5. Cheeseburgers and Chips and More Beer!
We had a lot of set up to do for Thanksgiving and family up from Texas, so we made the decision to order food from the truck stop instead of cooking. That officially puts one day of red meat ahead of the previous three week's worth. Awesome.
6. Danish
My great aunt sent my grandpa two Danish pastries that he was kind enough to share with my family. We took one home with the intention of being able to freeze it and split it between the five of us. By 10 am the next morning it was gone.
7. Brisket with a side of brisket
Our family, particularly the males, have never been satisfied with turkey on Thanksgiving. Our meal featured an impressive spread of turkey, ham, and brisket. While I did partake in some of the delicious sides and desserts, my main focus was to eat as much brisket as I could before it either ran out or someone took it away. As I drank a few more beers and the night progressed, the rate the brisket went down and the creative methods I used to add even more calories (brisket sliders!) was pretty impressive. Oh, and I washed all that brisket and beer down with one of the leftover cheeseburgers from the night before. This would be the lead up to the great puke/poop dilemma of Thanksgiving 2012.
8. Pancakes, cheesy eggs, bacon
Being the gracious house guest that I am, I decided I would make breakfast for everyone on Friday morning. I fired up the griddle and the oven and whipped up a meal fit for an early morning king. Of course, every abnormal or broken pancake couldn't be fed to the masses, so I would remove them from the pan and put them in my mouth before anyone knew of their inadequacies. This didn't stop me from eating a full regular meal once everything else got done.
9. Steak, hashbrowns, and a little bit of everything on Molly's plate
After eating like complete dog poop for the better part of four days, it was decided that we needed to eat out again and dive into a truly great South Dakota steak. After a salad loaded with bleu cheese dressing and a full cup of beef stroganoff soup, I was ready for the main course. I ate a full pound of juicy, tender, well seasoned ribeye (I barely left a piece of fat and gristle on the plate for fear I might miss out on some savory). I also housed a huge portion of hashbrown potatoes, two full pieces of toast, some of Molly's tator tots, the crust from her patty melt, and a Sam Adams.
10. Cheesy eggs, bacon, two mini-pieces of Hot Stuff Pizza, half a container of Auntie Anne's pretzels dipped in marinara
You know, typical "I need to be on the road to Sioux Falls" all day snack foods.
11. Carnitas Pizza and Phuket Wings
I love carnitas. I love pizza. Put them together and I'll eat the whole pizza (which I did). The name of the wings pretty much summed up my attitude about the diet at this point.
12. Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, etc.
We went out with my high school friends to celebrate being friends, and I may or may not have sampled my weight in different brews around the greater Sioux Falls area. Skip to the next item if you don't want to be grossed out, but it is fairly well published that I am incredibly particular about my toilet arrangements and rarely use a facility outside of my own home. I officially ruined my stomach that night to the point that I had to use a filthy hotel bar bathroom. I've been sitting in a bathtub ever since.
13. Marlins Breakfast
Here's my regular order at the greatest greasy spoon breakfast location in Sioux Falls (there isn't a close second. I'm not even willing to listen to rational arguments on this subject): 3- Meat Skillet (featuring ham, bacon, sausage, and shredded cheese on a pound of hashbrowns), two sunny side up eggs on top, a side of sausage gravy to pour all over top of it, two pieces of toast, and two of Molly's pancakes. I followed this up with one of the longest, most miserable drives back to Minneapolis I've ever encountered.
14. Domino's Pizza
Hey, after a long, hard week of eating and doing nothing, it is hard to scrounge together the energy to cook. By this time, the snowball had fully engulfed me.
These are just the things I can remember, although I had my fair share of cheese, chocolate milk, and other high fat, low nutritional items. There isn't anyone else to blame for all of this because I continued to open my mouth and insert items all on my own, but this is solid proof of how easy it is for me to get lazy once and then lose all control. I was talking with a friend this morning who also has weight issues, and we both agreed that we probably can never stop being vigilant about our health. There is no safety level on the horizon because all it takes is one trip to Taco Bell and a week of not blogging before I wake up four months later trying to figure out why my pants don't fit. Thankfully on this Thanksgiving, I've got a good support system to help pick me back up so that I can give it another shot.
Talk to you Thursday,
Jeffrey
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