The Big Day

Holy cow, the wedding day is finally here!  It is hard to believe it was just a year ago that I got down on one knee and popped the question, both because the past year has flown by and crawled at the same time.  Because we're out of our minds, we decided to buy a house in the same six month span as the wedding, which more or less consumed our early 2013.  But the last six weeks have been down and dirty wedding planning time.  With Molly off of work for the summer, she and her mom have planned and replanned and prepped to the point where this day can't go any way but well.  I've been saying for the last month that this day just needed to get here.  I wasn't nervous or anxious, just tired of the anticipation.  I had myself convinced that tomorrow was going to be just like last week.  Heck, we already bought a house together, we've lived together for the better part of two years, we fart in front of each other...what would be different besides the new hardware I'd be wearing on my left hand?  Let's just get to the party already!

Today my outlook is different.  Since I woke up this morning, I feel like I've had an elephant sitting on my chest and a walnut stuck in my throat.  A waterfall of emotion has completely crashed on top of me, and I'm doing everything I can to keep it together.  I wish I knew how to describe how I'm feeling, but I've never really felt this way before.  It most certainly isn't sadness, nor nervousness about whether or not I'm making the right decision.  I don't think it is a fear of the new permanence that is about to define our relationship, either.  I think it is a combination of pure joy and an overwhelming realization that what I thought probably wasn't ever going to happen is finally happening.  Today.  Like in six hours.  Everything I think about makes my eyes well up, a genetic trait that will mostly likely result in the Colsons zapping the Kleenex supply at Normandale Lutheran. 

I think the biggest part is just the anticipation to share the day with Molly.  On June 23, 2011, I went to a farmer's market on a rainy day on my third Match.com Internet date of the week.  I had talked to the girl online for about a month, and we decided it was probably time to actually see each other in person.  I was running late, so my already nervous nervousness was running at full capacity.  I pulled up to Centennial Lakes, walked down the stairs of the parking ramp, and got in the face with Life's shovel.  I saw a beautiful girl wearing a yellow cardigan with a billion dollar smile and the biggest bluest eyes waiting at the bottom for me.  "Jeff?  I'm Molly!  Nice to finally meet you."  That was it.  People can debate the existence of true love or love at first sight until they are blue in the face, but I can tell you that at that exact moment, I started picturing today.  Even though I had some pretty decent dates earlier in the week, I never returned another phone call, text, or e-mail.  I had met the girl I wanted to spend my life with, and I was going to turn every ounce of my energy towards making that a reality.  A little over a year later, I hit my mark at that exact same spot surrounded by friends and family, and now a year later we get to make it official at the place it all started. 

I love Molly.  I do.

Feeling total and complete love,

MR. Jeff Pool

Day 28: We Did It!

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention.  I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying new story.  I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen...we did it!

After 28 hard fought days, we came out victorious and, hopefully, a little better off than we were before.  I can't believe how dedicated people have been to this group.  Here are some fun facts for you:

• 21 different people posted at least once in the group
• As of the time of this writing, we've had over 400! posts in this group, including 328 check-ins, 28 blog posts, and a whole bunch of supportive comments
• Four different states were represented at one time or another in the challenge

I can't tell you how extremely cool all of this is to me.  I know how hard February is for me (see my Superman post), and I knew that I couldn't make it through (and almost didn't) without the accountability that  you all provided for me.  There wasn't some grand prize for checking in everyday, yet you just kept coming back to remind that you're still here and still plugging away, just like me.  I've received a lot of helpful hints that I will continue to be able to use on a daily basis.  Without further ado, here are my numbers for the month of January and February.

January

Weight: 229.6 lb (-8 lb, total of -31.8)

BMI: 33.1 (-1, total of -4.4)

BMR: 2198 kcal (-35, total of  -178)

Fat %: 38.5% (+4.7%, net loss of 3.5%)

Fat Mass: 88.3 lb (+7.9, net loss of 21.7 lbs of man boobs)

Fat Free Muscle: 141.3 lb (- 15.9 lb, net loss of 10.5 lb)

TBW: 104.4 lb (-10.6 lb, net loss of  4.7 lb)

February

Weight: 228 lb (-1.6 lb, total of -33.4)

BMI: 32.7 (-.4, total of -4.8)

BMR: 2173 kcal (-25, total of  -203)

Fat %: 32.4% (-6.1%, net loss of 9.6%)

Fat Mass: 73.8 lb (-14.5, net loss of 36.2 lbs of Ben and Jerry's)

Fat Free Muscle: 154.2 lb (+12.9 lb, net gain of 2.4 lb)

TBW: 112.8 lb (+8.4 lb, net gain of 3.7 lb)

I'm pumped, gang.  I know that I only lost a little over a pound and a half, I legit gained 10 pounds in the time from when I took those January measurements until Valentine's Day.  That isn't a gold-star, I lost 12 pounds in the last two weeks kind of statement.  Just saying that I did see some major changes in my body.  Since the beginning of January, I've lost two pounds in my hips, chest, and waist.  I've lost an inch in my arms, legs, and neck.  I was really worried about the fact that I had lost so much water last month and that maybe I was just starving myself without building muscle, so I added weight lifting to the routine and look what happened!  13 lbs of muscle gain?!  14.5 lbs of fat loss?!  I have a sneaky suspicion that by tomorrow morning, the scale will show me my 225 goal that I was hoping for and that I'll be ready to hit March like a mad man.  

I've had a couple of people ask me today what my secret for this success is.  I think it is six pretty basic principles. 

1. Use more calories than you put into your body.  Honestly, weight loss doesn't get a lot more simple than figuring out calories in/calories out.
2. Limit your white sugars and up your fruits and veggies.  This is one of my 17-day diet staples that can be used even when you are eating carbs.  
3. Have a great support system.  That one is pretty well documented with the over 400! messages in our group page.
4. Forgive yourself.  Everyone has shitty days where they eat a large pizza in their car while driving home or when their Cherry Berry container is so loaded with yogurt and candy that their bill comes to over $10.  It happens.  It is your ability to not dwell on those things and to get back on the horse that makes up long term success.  I fall off the horse all the time, but difference between Jeff now and Jeff a year ago is that I don't come to the conclusion that I just can't ride horses.  Have faith in yourself!
5. Try new things and make the good ones habits.  Molly and I are constantly changing our workout routines and our diet plans because the minute we get bored with something, we lose interest and start to backslide.  I hated lifting weights because I didn't know how, but once I found something I could do, I gained the confidence to keep doing it.  I hated running, but I invested in a great pair of shoes and now I'm on the treadmill twice a week.  The Interwebs literally has thousands of healthy recipes that don't taste like rabbit food, so try a new one every week until you build a nice stable of things you love.
6. Drink water, stupid!  I'm not calling you stupid, but if you've ever sat through a 4th grade science class, you realize just how much of this planet, including your body, is made up of water.  It turns out there aren't any lakes filled with Diet Coke, Starbucks waterfalls, or beer tidal waves (God, I wish that last one existed), so stop taking in all of those empty calories and chemicals and just flush your system.  I'm still a two cup of coffee a day drinker, but I still make sure that I get enough water to keep my vital organs and muscles hydrated.
7. BONUS TIP! Wear vertical lines.  They make your body look longer and leaner and fool people into thinking you're thinner than you are.  According to the incredibly mean clown in the dunk tank at the Sioux Empire Fair in 1994, horizontal stripes make it hard to tell if fat kids are walking or rolling.

Seriously, that's it.  You won't find a guy who has fallen flat on his face with dieting more often than I have.  But I know why being in better shape is important for me, and if you look around at pictures of your friends and family, you should know why it is important to you, too.  I want us all to be able to get together and celebrate on my 80th birthday, but that can't happen when we let inertia win.  

I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for helping me make Fitness February a big success, and I'd like to roll it into March Madness.  If you like the daily check-ins, keep them up.  I can't promise a blog a day, but I'll keep checking in and letting you know how my quest goes.  I know a couple of you write blogs, too, so feel free to post the links in here so we can all share in your journey.  

Let the madness begin!

Jeff

Post 27: I'm No Superman (But I Look Good In Tights)

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!  Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No, it's Superman!  In case any of you don't know that reference, I would strongly encourage you to join the rest of American society and maybe pick up a comic book from time to time.  Superman was America's original superhero, the man of steel who fought for truth and good and, to be completely honest, is kind of boring.  The guy has damn near every single super power, he doesn't have any cool brooding dark history (I mean his planet blew up, but he was a dumb baby then), and he really only has one weakness which is just getting poisoned by a green rock.  That's the main reason Hollywood can't make a good Superman movie anymore.  After seeing Batman brood on the screen with deep character study for three movies, nobody wants to see Clark Kent take off his glasses in a phone booth and be Mr. Perfect with his beaming smile.  

We get it, you're great.

As I've gotten older, one part of Superman's story line (and trust me, it is literally only this one part) has drawn me in and made me feel like I could relate to the Big Blue Boy Scout.  Superman gets his powers from Earth's yellow sun.  Whenever he gets beat down and is nearing the end, he just soaks up some rays and is as good as new, which is incredibly convenient for him but kind of seems like a lazy writer's easy way out of every single jam.  But maybe it wasn't.

You see, I, much like Mr. Kent, also get much of my power from Earth's yellow sun.  You probably do, too.  For as long as I remember, I have suffered from seasonal affective disorder, or SAD.  Having the winter blues is no new concept for most.  As the winter days grow longer and everyone gets more and more stir crazy, they tend to long for those summer days on the lake or the golf course.  Don't get me wrong, I long for those times, too.  But for folks with SAD, it goes beyond just being ready for warmer weather.  Twice a year like clockwork (generally early October/late January into February), my body and mind completely fall into a downward depression cycle.  My digestive system goes haywire, I can't sleep, I can't think straight, I have no energy, and I just want to pull away from the world.  Nothing makes me feel good, and nothing really makes me feel, period.  I literally just shut down.

I've been dancing around this subject in my blog posts for the past month or so, but this winter's sad hit me hard.  I'm not sure if it was any harder than any other year, but when you add all of the extra life stressors that I don't usually have, it seemed to be a little heavier.  Going into my fishing trip, I was down to about 229, but I promptly gained about 10 lbs back in a two week period.  I stopped at Little Caesar's on the way home one night and got a large pizza that I promptly ate it on the way home because I just wanted to feel something, even if it was full and sick.  I had stretches where I really had to talk myself out of bed, and there were a couple of days where I just couldn't.  While others get the flu, I get flu-like symptoms brought on by seasonal depression.  I can't really cope, so I stop trying to and just go into a protective cocoon where I am in survival mode.  That was the reason I stopped posting there for that week stretch, and that was the reason that to get to 225 after being at 229 last month that I had to lose 15 pounds in the past two weeks.  It was the driving force behind needing to drop that class because something had to come off my plate in order for me to pick myself back up.  I pop Vitamin D.  I need to buy a sunlamp, but until I do, I try my best to get out of my basement cubicle and go for a walk where there are windows and direct sunlight.  I make sure that the blinds are open at home so that I can get every single second of the sun's precious rays.  

This is something I've dealt with since at least college (the first time it was officially diagnosed), and it is something that I've learned to ride out when it rears its ugly head.  After having a fairly rough go of it this year, I need to be more proactive with being ready for it when it comes barreling at me during the same two times every year.  Unlike Superman, I'm not infallible.  I don't need to battle a Lex Luthor because I've got the supervillain SAD throwing punches at me. Transforming into the best me isn't as easy as ripping my shirt off, throwing aside my glasses, and running around in my underwear (although I have a story from late January in Vegas a couple of years that sounds awfully similar).  But just like Superman, a little sun goes a long way to making me super.  

Jeff

Post 26: Photographic Evidence

In anticipation of the big results later, I thought I'd go back and find some photographic evidence that change is and has happened.  You might call it a cop out of a blog post, but I call it progress.  Here are the engagement pictures that Molly and I took in late August/September when I realized it was time to make a change.  

Pretty rotund.  Those shirts, which I used to wear almost daily, can currently be used as a parachute shoud I accidentally fall out of an airplane.  Here are some pictures from the holiday season, roughly mid-December-January 1:

I had definitely made progress, but I was far from where I wanted to be.  My face is generally the best indicator of what my weight is, and you'll notice I had no neck in the first set of pictures and a little bit of definition in the second.  Here are the extremely low quality pictures that I took of myself this morning:

I'm going to go out on an unofficial limb and say that I'm down about 25 from those holiday pics, but I guess we'll find out in a couple of hours.  Also, I might need to get in a tanning bed.  Anyway, I thought I'd let you all see what I get to see staring back at me these days.  Also, I just realized from looking at that I didn't put the cap back on my hair cream and it is going to be hard and crusty when I get home.  Win some, lose some, I guess.  

Jeff

Post 25: Good Morning, Fitness Friends!

Happy Day 28!  I don't know about you, but I feel like it flew by.  As of the moment I am typing this character, it is 6:30 am, CST.  I've already got my first workout in (Power 90 lifting, baby), I've got two eggs scrambling in my belly, and I've spent some time reminiscing with Jeff from January 5 .Molly and I both took pictures on Jan. 5 so we'd have some comparison.  They aren't exactly bawdy, but it is me in my boxers, so I'll save you all the early morning shock.  Needless to say, I've seen some ch-ch-ch-changes.  I'll save results for the later posts because I have to jump on the official scale at work, but I like what I see on our home scale.  Anyway, I thought I'd give you all a shout out and remind you to save the celebrations for tomorrow.  We've still got one more day of hard work ahead of us.  Keep those knees and chins high, fitness friends!

Jeff

Post 24: Five More Months!

I can't believe we're exactly five months away from the big day.  I can't really say it feels like it is coming fast because it honestly feels like it is coming along at an appropriate pace, if that makes any sense.  Molly and I started dating on June 23, 2011, but it feels like we've been together forever (in the good way).  We moved in together in April 2012, yet it is hard to remember a time when we didn't live together.  We got engaged last July, yet it feels like we've been planning this wedding for years.  While we still have some major things to get done before July gets here (stupid invitations), I'm really just ready for it to arrive.  The wedding is going to be a blast, but I'm kind of ready for it to be over with so we can start focusing on the rest of our lives.  The house buying project has become a decent diversion, but it serves as a reminder that this isn't 1955 and that we aren't exactly doing things in order.  There's a firm chance that we will be in a new home before the wedding, so the day before the wedding and the day after the wedding are probably going to look pretty similar.  Gone are the days where I carry my new bride across the threshold of our first cohabitation the day after our honeymoon.  The biggest change will be that she'll shed a half dozen letters from her last name.

We've still got some of the "fun" stuff ahead of us, like cake tasting and menu tasting and showers and other high calorie occasions, but we're more or less kind of in a waiting pattern.  I think most brides with five months to go are probably scrambling around putting on finishing touches, but Molly is currently in full on "cool-as-a-cucumber" mode.  She spends her nights looking at houses, not scouring Pinterest for cute decoration ideas.  She's organized and does things far enough in advance (I guess opposites do attract) that she's got us on track without too much more work ahead of us save for the aforementioned stupid invitations.  The one thing that I still have to do is go suit shopping, but I'm not quite to where I want to be in the waist/chest area.  I'm in that 36 pants area, but I really think I can hit 34 by April.  My stomach, chest, and arms are all considerably smaller (I tried putting on a fairly new XXL shirt I bought and wore regularly through the winter, and I'm swimming in it), but I still have moobs and enough of a belly that I wouldn't be happy throwing my hands up now.  My original goal was 215 by April, which I think would be close enough to 200 that my sizes would at least be similar.  I'm still holding myself to that goal, even though it means March Madness is going to have to be pretty mad.  Maybe, just maybe, this FB group will live on question mark?

Here's a Top 10 list of stuff that I specifically think we need to still focus on, written in the order I'm looking forward to it:

1. Menu tasting (I love this place and I love food, so I can't imagine I won't enjoy it)
2. Music selection for the reception (I love that you can more or less make the DJ's playlist on our own personalized wedding site.  Remember to thank me at the end of the night.)
3. Cake tasting (I love cake, just not as much as eating pasta and doing the Bernie)
4. Suit shopping (All the hard work will finally be tangible when I can put on a suit jacket that isn't from a Big and Tall rack)
5. Picking wedding readings (You better believe you'll know it is a half-Jeff wedding when you hear what I find)
6. Creating our placecard holders (Mark my words, I will be missing a finger by the time that arts and crafts project wraps up)
7. Picking wedding hymns (Slightly less excited about this. Currently leaning towards "This Little Light of Mine")
8. Putting together seating charts (I have a feeling this could devolve into throwing darts at a board)
9. Picking out invitations (Stupid invitations)
10.  Addressing invitations (stupid, stupid invitations

Post 23: In Honor Of My Hero(es)

Post 23 couldn't be about anything other than Michael Jordan.  I use the number 23 every single day of my life since it is involved in every password I've ever made in some form.  I've even started talking Molly into using 23 in joint accounts and passwords, although I convinced her to use it because we conveniently started dating on June 23.  If I had my way, I would have three kids and they would be named Michael, Jeffrey, and Jordan (or in the case of three girls, Michaela, Jeffreyina, and Jordan).  My bedroom growing up had red carpet and black furniture.  I had posters, jerseys, cut outs, and Wheaties boxes spread out across the room.  For about a seven year period, I didn't own a pair of shoes that didn't have the Jumpman logo on the side of it.  I can distinctly remember watching WGN to see him play, and I can remember almost every playoff game.  I remember lying on the floor with goosebumps during the great plays and crying when he won his championships.  Judging by the fact that ESPN more or less shut down all other programming for the week leading up to MJ's 50th birthday, I wasn't the only one.

One of the biggest stories surround Jordan turning 50 was his own reluctance to accept the fact that he wouldn't still be the greatest, even at his advanced age.  Jordan built his career on the perception that everyone was out against him, that no one really believe in his talent.  He went out every night to destroy the other team to quiet the voices telling him he wasn't the greatest, even though the rest of the world had more or less given him the title of the Greatest of All Time.  As a young boy, I admired that quality.  I hated losing, and because I had a bit of a self-confidence issue, most of my accomplishments came from an inner drive to prove to the world that I naturally better than other people at certain tasks, even when I wasn't.  I saw his physical gifts as something I could never have, but that didn't mean that I couldn't be a winner just like him and, in the meantime, enjoy watching him defy gravity.

Jordan turning 50 effected me in a way that I wasn't really expecting because I, just like the Great One, can't really accept the fact that my childhood idol hasn't set foot on a professional basketball court in a decade.  I somehow have managed to live in the denial that my dad is almost 60 or that my mom could in any way, shape, or form be over 50 since they don't seem like they've ever aged to me, but the publicity around MJ's birthday kind of popped all of those safety bubbles for me.  My dad is 58.  My mom is 51.  My grandparents are all in their 80's or upper 70's.  I am 31.  My baby sister is 26.  Michael Jeffrey Jordan is 50.

I think because I've been so incredibly lucky to have all four of my grandparents be a major part of my life and to still have all of them around today that I have been able to deny the reality of mortality.  I've lost very close friends and extended family way too early, but my core group of everyday family members hasn't changed since 1981.  My immediate family (including my aunts, uncles, and cousins) has been, for the most part, incredibly healthy, even when some of our lifestyle choices have put that streak to the test (let's not forget I almost weighed 300 lbs a couple of years ago).  I don't get home anywhere near as often as I'd like to, and because of that, I think the aging process has become a little more apparent with some of my relatives.  When you see someone every day, time seems to move slower and changes happen so gradually that you don't always notice them.  When there are two, three, and sometimes four month gaps between visits, those changes are a little more drastic.  I had younger grandparents, and when I think of them today, I still see them as I remember them when I was a child.  I see my grandma Pat laying out in the sun as I splashed around in her backyard swimming pool.  I see my grandma Nita being the caretaker of a constantly going farm family, but never not having time to get her hair done.  I see my grandpa Clyde as the tall, strong man who comes in from hours of climbing around fixing tractors and combines in his shop, covered from head to toe in grease and dirt.  I see my grandpa Wayne as the great outdoorsman who taught me to fish and shoot geese.  The reality today is quite different.  Age has slowed down my personal giants.  The people who never ceased to have the energy to take care of their families, in particular their fantastic grandson, now often need help taking care of themselves.  Michael Jordan turned 50.

As a related side note, my great-uncle Milo (who was always just my uncle, as far as I was concerned) passed away this week, and it was again a reminder that every great story (and his really was a great one) has to have an end.  The people we love eventually have to leave us, and the best we can hope for is that the love they gave can be passed on through us to the next generation.  I loved my Uncle Milo and have many great memories (most involve drinking pop out of glass bottles from the machine in his sports store).  His wife, my Aunt Peggy, was sometimes as much of a third grandmother as a great-aunt, and I hope that she knows how much she and Milo are loved and respected.

I know I get a little sentimental sometimes, but I can't fight my nature.  I love my grandparents, my parents, my sister, Molly, and the rest of my family and friends, and sometimes it is easier for me to say that in words than it is to their faces (a sad quality that I really hope I can grow out of someday).  My quest to be healthy is as much a thank you to all of the time, energy, and love that I've been given during my 31 years, and Milo's life, as much as his death, once again remind me that I need to push myself to get the best out of every day.

Rest in peace, Uncle Milo.

Little Jeffy

Here is Milo's obituary, in case you'd like to see what all you can cram into 81 years.
http://www.feigumfh.com/sitemaker/sites/Feigum1/obit.cgi?user=923358Smith#.US1OWgkXFPw.facebook